Photo by Weber VanHeber from FreeImages

This was Kevin O’Leary’s night. Calculated to precision, today was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. His one chance.

After he had arrived at the tree stand in the wee hours of the morning and concealed his motorbike under a large willow, he climbed the ladder and saw the glade below him glistening with tiny lights. A hum of activity floated up to his spot in the tree, and he knew that he was right.  Once in a century, and tonight it was.

Seamus was late again. When he finally arrived, Kevin had been standing in the tree for more than two hours watching and waiting. Seamus brought a thermos of coffee and powdered donuts but no apologies.

“Seen any yet?” Seamus asked.

Kevin shook his head and bit back criticism of his friend’s late arrival. He couldn’t piss off Seamus. He needed the car. “No, they’re there all right. Those lights have been twinkling up at me. But I hear it starting to break up.”

As he spoke, a shadow broke away from the glade and began to skip down a trail heading to the river. Seamus grabbed Kevin’s arm as he was lifting the rifle to aim.

“There! Did you see that?” He jumped up and down, sloshing his coffee and spitting powdered sugar onto his chin. “Take a shot, Kevin, take a shot!”

Kevin frowned and looked through the sights. “Keep your voice down, idiot. And stop your damn jumping.”

Seamus stopped jumping. Then he pointed to another shadow breaking out of the glade and heading towards the road. “There! There’s another one!” he hissed.

Kevin lifted his gun, took aim, and fired. The figure was hit on an up-skip and dropped like a rock to the ground. At the sound of the shot, the lights in the glade disappeared, and the woods became silent, with the exception of Seamus’ quiet cheers.

Kevin grabbed his bag, stowed his rifle and scurried down the stairs. Seamus followed, and they were soon running towards the fallen figure. Kevin slowed to a stop before reaching it. Seamus, not looking, ran into him, and Kevin staggered forward, dropping to his hands and knees next to the body.

He was close. It was green. The man was green. How had he not known this? And though small, the man was big for a leprechaun, the size of a large dog, perhaps, though it was difficult to tell with the body curled up like that. He had a large head with red hair and a red beard and skin the colour of fresh peas, a colour fading away even as he watched.

He was going to make a lot of money. He hadn’t thought it would be so easy, yet here it was, a leprechaun.  And they weren’t far from the road.

“Seamus, get the car, man. We are now in a goddammed hurry. If we don’t get the body out of the woods before sunup, it’ll disappear.” He looked at the east and the glint of sunlight below the horizon. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

“Righto, Kevin, I’ll bring the car to the road just over there.” He pointed to the road and Kevin nodded.

As Seamus ran off, Kevin stuffed the body into a sack. It was heavy for such a little body. Kevin hoped that the extra weight was due to pockets filled with gold doubloons. He knew some of the legends surrounding leprechauns but wasn’t sure which were legend, and which were fact. His hands were shaking as he tied the bag with a rope and slung it over his shoulder.  He saw brakelights on the road and headed towards them quickly.

Seamus met him and beamed as he neared the road. “Got her all ready, Kev. My sis doesn’t know that I took it yet, but I’ll have it back before she even knows it was gone.”

“Seamus,” Kevin said, his voice rising. He stopped stock still, looked at the car and dropped the bag. “Where’s your Volkswagen?”

Seamus looked confused. “It’s in the shop, Kev. I borrowed Lily’s car.”

Kevin looked at the Smart Fortwo microcar. It was tiny. He lifted the small hatchback trunk to assess the space. As it opened, a cascade of books, clothes, empty water bottles and a gym bag came tumbling out. Even empty, there was not enough space. The body was too big for the trunk. Kevin knew he had a problem.

The sun’s rays peeked out from the east. “We have no time!” Kevin began shoving the trunk’s contents out onto the road.

Seamus protested. “Ah, c’mon, man, let’s not be so hasty. My sister’s going to kill me.” He tried scooping the litter from the road back into the car, but Kevin knocked him aside and swept the rest of it onto the road. He picked up the sack as Seamus wailed and gathered his sister’s belongings.

“Goddammit, Seamus, if the sun rises and the leppie’s not in the trunk, we’ll lose him. We’ll lose everything.” Kevin hefted the bag and tossed it towards the trunk, but it was heavier than he thought, and it hit the bumper before falling to the ground with a solid thunk. The bag opened, and the leprechaun’s red hair and green hand poked out the top. Kevin grabbed the sack, shoved the head and hand back down and looped the rope around the bag.

He hurled the bag towards the trunk.

Sunlight streaked across the sky, casting its rays over the woods and then the bag in mid-air. The bag hung for a moment, suspended between Kevin and the trunk. And then it dropped, suddenly empty, onto the road. Kevin roared with anger and picked up the limp bag. He shook it at Seamus.

“You lost it! You!” He screamed and slammed his fist into the car. Then he sat down on the road, put his face in his hands and moaned.

Seamus said nothing as he picked up his sister’s remaining items and put them back into the tiny trunk.  He noticed a shiny gold coin on the ground, looked at Kevin’s sobbing figure, picked it up quietly and snuck it into his pocket. It ought to be enough for gas.

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